Hurting/Confused Day 1

Today I am feeling confused when it comes to my life. I have found out that love is hard to find when you are looking in all the wrong places. How is it that someone can hurt for sooo long over something that they almost had. I lost my child over a year ago and I think I am still hurting. I have been trying every since to conceive again but has had no luck. I was starting feel as if God punished me for my past but that is not the case. I am trying to figure out am I wrong because I envy those around me that do get pregnant I mean how can I be mad about someone elses blessing? I feel as though I'm waiting on God and I know he hears my cry. Or I wonder maybe is it God thats waiting on me. This has hit me today because someone I am soooo very close to called to tell me she was pregnant today and I am sooooooo happy for her but at the same time I am wishing it was I who could be giving such news. Why is it that the females who dont want kids or have kids and are not taking care of them gets pregnant so very easy, but those of us who wants them and can take care of them can't. I guess I have to just keep trying or maybe I should give up!!!!!!

Live Life

Sometimes I wonder why we are delt certain cards in this game we like to call life. Why do people call life a game? It's kinda hard to think of life as a game where as most games are supposed to be fun but I'm having a very hard time reaching the fun part. My new goal or task is to search for that fun part of life the part that will just let me live and be free. I think we all should live life to the fullest because no one knows the day or the hour when his life will come to an end!!!

Work in progress

Today I am a work in progress, there are so many things in my life that I am fixed on fixing. Changing the things that i can and praying for the things that i can't. In life you are taught many lessons you can either learn those lessons and make good of them or you can disregard them and go on to the unknown. Progress is the only move in my life that I can make at this point, positive is my only thought. Nothing or no one can change my path in life for I am being lead not by myself but by God alone.